BCCI makes a Dravid-Zaheer U-Turn

Merely days after announcing that Rahul Dravid and Zaheer Khan would be batting and bowling consultants to the Indian cricket team in the new Ravi-Shastri-headed era of Indian cricket, the BCCI has made a U-turn of proportions that typically are reserved for seasoned 18 year olds (who have been driving since the age of 16) who take the driving test in Tamil Nadu.

Speaking to journalists, a senior BCCI official remarked, ‘this is an internal affair of the BCCI that has led to an internal working committee determining internally that the best external course of action at this point in time would indeed be to temporarily suspend the appointment of Rahul and Zaheer. Technically, the earlier announcement is just that — an announcement, and this is a follow up to the earlier announcement that was, essentially, just another announcement as is routine in BCCI press briefings for announcements.’

He continued, ‘Rahul and Zaheer have had stellar careers in the IPL playing for various teams. They have successfully captained and led their teams to great heights in the premier domestic competition in the international world. We always hold their achievements in high esteem and are always indebted to them.’ On prodding from behind by someone who is presumably an assistant, he added, ‘oh and of course, they played for the Indian team too.’

As expected, this decision has divided the cricketing world in India. Mr. Ramachandra Guha, eminent historian and member of the BCCI’s CoA has resigned his post. When quizzed on this, the above mentioned BCCI official remarked, ‘Mr Guha has resigned for personnel reasons. I mean, personal reasons. We wish him well.’

There has been widespread outrage over the shabby treatment that is being handed to three ex-Indian legends in the short space of time. Said an eminent ex-cricketer who asked not to be named, ‘boss, what is this nonsense, I say? First Kumble. Then Dravid and Zaheer. Boss, this is too much, I say. They have some Karnataka bias, I think. Two are from Karnataka. The third also played for RCB. It’s just too much, I say.’ When asked if this theory was a bit far fetched, his closing remarks were, ‘boss, just shadaap, okay?’

In the meanwhile, the new Indian coach, Mr. Ravi Shastri was not available for a verbal comment but responded to this publication’s detailed ten point questionnaire with the following note:

Look, it is not a decision that we take lightly. We have some eminent ex-captains on the panel who always are the best judge of ex-captains. I was a part of the meeting that the decision was taken and, honestly, one got the feeling that it was going to be real close. We flashed and flashed hard, and make no mistake about it, it was a pressure cooker situation. It was in the air and as the meeting was drawing to a close, all three results were possible. It went right down to the wire and, in the end, the line belonged to the umpire. He was a cool as a cucumber and that was just what the doctor ordered.

We did follow up on what exactly the third possible outcome was. We are still waiting for the reply.