Afridi to retire from retiring

–          By our Staff reporter

Islamadad, June 1: In a bizzare move, avant-garde and often radical Pakistani cricketer and erstwhile captain, Shahid Afridi has decided to retire from the international game.

Afridi has been stripped off his captaincy by the Pakistan Cricket Board with seemingly no explanation given.

Afridi has been left hurt by this and said, ‘Today is an important day in my life. I retire from International cricket. I have been belittled by the Pakistan Cricket Board and I cannot take it any longer. Also, more importantly, I want to go out with a boom boom and hence I shall be a trend setter. I shall be the first person in history to retire from retiring.’

He continued, ‘I have retired too many times now and I’m sick of retiring. Hence I shall never retire again but I will, however, retire from retiring. No, I will not use the DRS on this one. This decision is final.’ Afridi was left teary-eyed and the press, confused.

Afridi blast onto the scene as a flamboyant teenager with a century off 37 balls. He has since donned many roles in the Pakistan team such as player, captain, vice-captain, player, bowler, opening batsman, 11-down batsman, opening bowler, leg spinner, pace bowler, thrower, drinks boy, apple eater, beard grower and idiot.

This announcement comes as a shock to the cricketing community as Afridi is fairly young. He came onto the scene as a lanky 18 year old and remained an 18 year old till he was 27. He only recently turned 28. The announcement puts an end to a blossoming career. ‘I’m 18 till I die!’, he once famously proclaimed.

He will be missed. However, he is widely expected to make a comeback soon (See footnote)

Footnote:
Lifecycles of a Pakistani cricketer:
Debut –> Vice captain –> ban
Debut –> Ban.
Debut –> Captain –> Ban.
Debut –> Vice captain –> Retire.
Debut –> Captain –> Ban –> Retire –> Comeback –>Captain –> Strip of captaincy –>Retire.
Debut.