The IPL – a few observations. Or something.

Right. So real cricket has begun.
We’ve had tracer bullets, matches ‘going down to the wire’, DLF maximums, Citibank moments of success and in the end, cricket has always been the winner. Well, the BCCI has anyway. Add to this Navjot Singh Sidhu’s doses of verbal diarrhea (now egged on with a small flourish played by a band in the studio encouraging his menagerie of utterly unrelated and completely gag-worthy metaphors and similes, aka, Siddhuisms ) and you know that we are well and truly into the IPL.

With all the teams in action so far, we have gotten a glimpse into what lies in store for us over the next month and a half. Well, here are some observations:

Dhoni still got it
M.S Dhoni continues where he left off in the world cup. Well, of course. Captain cool maintained his cool in a tight finish and guided the super kings home, ably assisted by some brilliant batting from Kolkata and histrionics from Shah Rukh Khan before the game. Chennai hosted a mildly motherblade opening ceremony but thankfully the cricket on offer was more exciting. Also, the Southee-Madras jokes are here to stay.

Yuvi is captain too
Yuvraj Singh looks set to guide his Navi Mumbai, er, Pune warriors on the field. With a sleek black jersey (albeit, not sleek enough to cover his paunch), Mr.Singh led from the front to guide his team to a formidable victory. But in the end, cricket was the winner. Or whiner.

Preity Zinta still thinks cricket is an insect
3 seasons as team owner of an IPL team does not look to have improved Ms. Zinta’s cricketing knowledge. When asked about her King’s eleven team, she proudly replied that her old team had given 3 captains to the IPL, Mahela, Sanga and Yuvi. Also, she thinks Christian Bale is a batsman and not batman.

Nita Ambani is marginally better
Mrs. Ambani takes a cue from former India captain Md. Azharuddin and calls her player, ‘the boys’. Also, she might be having problems with Mukesh. She said that she had not heard from him all day. It is most likely because of that ‘lucky’ shirt that he sports every single game. ‘Due for a wash’, the missus thinks. ‘Cost cutting’, Mr.Ambani thinks.

Kochi … oh Kochi!
The new kids on the block are most certainly the most glamorously dressed with a bright orange jersey with typewrite ink spilt on the sleeves. The colors may have been strategically chosen by Sreesanth though. Rumor has it that it is his plan for camouflage amongst the cheerleaders if things go wrong with his bowling. Actually, make that ‘when’ things go wrong.

Siddharth Mallya does not get featured on tele as much without Deepika on his side
It’s official. As if you did not know it. Without Deepika, Siddharth is just another liquor baron’s son. Wait. Even with her, he is still that. But one with Deepika padukone by his side. While she was busy ‘shaking’ it, he cut a forlorn figure sitting with father and owner of Bengaluru, I mean, the Royal Challengers of Bengaluru, Dr. Vijay Mallya. The camera focused on him once when his interview was taken and when he got stuck answering questions, he did not have his stock dialog, ‘look! It’s Deepika!’ to divert the attention to.

Uthappa is fat!
He can toss his medicine ball around all he wants and wear his bandana but Robin Uthappa is fat. The likely theory is that he blames his name for it. Perhaps if he were Robin Dosa, he’d be a lot less so.

Malinga is more than just a mop of hair
Malinga once again proved that he is more than just a mop of hair with a round arm action. He proved that he is a bat and stump breaker as well. Also, his affection for shoes, most often belonging to opposition batsmen, knows no bounds.

Sanga continues where he left off
Sangakkara’s jersey color might have changed but his record as captain certainly has not. He continued from where he left off with the King’s XI and has lost the first couple of matches this season as well. He also has learnt to call it aloud. The toss, that is. Also, in spite of a much changed team, the aspect that is most noteworthy about the Deccan Chargers still remains to be the owner’s daughter.

Watson plays the IPL …
… In Bangladesh. Someone just forgot to tell Shane Watson that it was the Australian national team and not the IPL in the second one-day against Bangladesh. Perhaps, it was a warm up for the IPL. Perhaps it was part of his contract.

Last word: Ravi Shastri. He always manages to have it, doesn’t he?